Oyamada Manta versus Mortimer Oyamada
by Zipchan
Summary: It's the original versus the dub! BWAHAHA!
1. The Horror Begins

Manta versus Morty!! The horror begins.  
  
Note: I know how badly everyone hates the dub... especially what they did to poor, poor Manta. *cries* So, I'm writing this fanfic to avenge all that is wrong in the world of Shaman King. Maybe Morty will DIE. Or maybe 4Kids will die. We shall see. *evil grin*  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own any SK characters. I don't own any dub characters. I don't even own the RCRMF. Poo.   
  
***  
  
Oyamada Manta is seen walking down the street at night, reading the Manjien as he walks along. A few people are scattered around, but not enough to be a crowd. They don't seem to notice him, and he doesn't seem to notice them. It's quite a peaceful setup, really. All is calm until...  
  
Manta: (Suddenly shivers.) Something's not right... something's not right at all...  
  
He continues walking, taking the same shortcut through the cemetary. Whoot.  
  
On the other side of the cemetary, Mortimer Oyamada has the same feeling.  
  
Mortimer: (Suddenly shivers.) Something's definitely screwy here, folks! I feel like all the ghosts are watching me, trying to eat me alive while I read my ghost stories!! Man, I need help!! It's not nor...  
  
Suddenly, "Morty" is cut off by running into Manta, who begins to spaz like a sumo wrestler on crack.  
  
Manta: (Thinks this to self.) Who in the world?? He... he looks like me!!  
  
Morty: (Thinks this to self.) Wooooow.... this guy looks like me! Maybe he wants to be a Shaman, too! Dude, that'd be cool!  
  
Manta: Who are you?  
  
Morty: I'm Mortimer Oyamada!  
  
Manta: (Begins to have another spaz attack.) NAAAANIIIIIIII???!?!?!??   
  
Morty: Uh.... who's "nani"? I'm not "nani". Are you "nani"?  
  
Manta: (Eye twitches.) NANI MEANS WHAT!!! GYAH!!! ARE YOU AN IDIOT OR SOMETHING???  
  
Morty: Nuh uh... I wanna be a doctor, so I can't be dumb!!  
  
In the depths of Manta's mind, something clues him in: This.... this "Mortimer"... must be an evil version of himself. Oh, how right he is. How horribly right he is. However, the Manta fans must interfere somehow, lest something goes wrong.   
  
Manta: You're... you're... you're my evil half, aren't you?  
  
Morty: 0_o;; Whaaaaaat?? What are you talking about?? There's no such thing as an evil half! Evil halves only exist in ghost stories! (He holds up his book of Ghost Stories.)  
  
Manta: THAT'S NOT SUPPOSED TO BE A GHOST STORIES BOOK!!!! THAT'S SUPPOSED TO BE THE FOUNTAIN OF KNOWLEDGE, THE MANJIEN!!!! (Holds up the Manjien furiously.)  
  
Morty: (Hits Manta with the "Ghost Stories" for no reason.)  
  
Manta: GYAH!!!! WHAT WAS THAT FOR??? (Holds his forehead in pain.)  
  
Morty: (Cackles evily.)  
  
Manta: THIS MEANS WAR!!!  
  
***  
  
There will be more... maybe. X_X;; If any Manta fangirls want to come and help Manta defeat Morty somehow, let me know. 


	2. Marshmallows, Pocky, and DubYoh

Aaaah!!! *hugs everyone who reviewed* 14 (or is it 15?) reviews in one day! YAAAAY!!! *mini victory dance* And, for future reference...   
  
The Random Crowd of Rabid Manta Fangirls(Hopefully they're all girls, otherwise... erm.... the guys will have to be called fangirls anyway. BWA!! Random crowd is also called RCRMF.): Zipchan, Kaori, Marineneko, Joruri Soma, and Rally!   
  
If there's anyone I forgot, I apologize. -_-;; On with the madness!! XD  
  
***  
  
Manta is seen, sitting in his room, carefully drawing out battle plans against "Morty". The plans are elaborate, and mostly involve the Manjien, a toothpick, a bag of marshmallows, hobo armies, rabid fangirls, the Otakon Cosplay Chair, and Amidamaru's tombstone. Sometimes I don't think we even want to know. XD But anyways...   
  
Manta: (Out loud, but mostly to himself.) Hmmm... maybe a brick to his head would work... No... too obvious. ERGH!!! Must summon... the RCRMF!!!   
  
(Spiffy Batman-esque music plays as Manta rushes to the window, cow bell in tow.) Manta rings the cowbell, and suddenly, the RCRMF appears in his room.  
  
RCRMF: (In unison.) You rang?  
  
Manta: Yes... literally. (Makes a face.) Apparently... there's a dub version of me... he's evil...   
  
RCRMF: (In unison.) NAAAANIIIIIIII???!?!?!?!???!? (All have Manta-like spazz attacks.)  
  
Manta: Exactly. So... when I ring the bell, you just magically appear like that, right?  
  
RCRMF: (In unison.) Haaaai!  
  
Manta: Alright, you're dismissed!! (Shoos them away with a wave of his hand.)  
  
RCRMF: (All go downstairs and start rummaging through the fridge and cabinets for Pocky.... and stuff. XD)  
  
Manta: (Follows them downstairs, then runs out the door with a huge backpack on his back.) It begins!  
  
***  
  
Here we are, back in the graveyard. Aren't we special? Manta sits on the hill where Amidamaru's tombstone is, patiently reading the Manjien. Morty walks up the hill, mindlessly babbling on and on about ghosts and wanting to be a doctor... or a shaman. He has someone with him, but we're not sure who it is yet. The two are jabbering together.  
  
Morty: You STILL need to show me how to be a shaman! 'Cause that would be SOOOOO cool!!  
  
Person: I know, Morty. I'll show you tomorrow.  
  
Morty: You been saying that for days now!! When are you actually gonna show me how??  
  
Person: In good time, Morty. In good time.  
  
Manta stands up and dusts himself off, much like Yoh would do. He glares at Morty, hissing under his breath.  
  
Manta: So I see you've brought one of your evil friends, eh?  
  
Morty: Huh?? OH! Naaaah... He's not evil! He's GOOD!!! He's the one who keeps me from getting pushed down the hill by the DeadEnders!!  
  
Manta: The... Dead... Enders?  
  
Morty: Ah, you know, that gang that hangs around here!!!  
  
Manta: RYU'S GANG IS NOT THE DEAD ENDERS!!!!!!  
  
Morty: Who's Ryu? (Laughs heartily.) I know of a Rio....  
  
Manta: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!! (Has a typical Manta spazz attack.) How many of you ARE there???!?!?!?  
  
Morty: Erm... I dunno.... how many of us are there, Yoh?   
  
Dub*Yoh: Oh... I dunno either!!  
  
Manta: (Eyes have bulged to the size of dinner plates.) THERE'S AN EVIL VERSION OF YOH-KUN??!?!??!? (Takes off his backpack, and gets out the bag of marshmallows.)  
  
Morty: Oh, wow, marshmallows! They look like little ghosts!!  
  
Manta: ... (Eats a marshmallow, and is suddenly six feet tall. Whoa. 0_0)  
  
RCRMF: (Suddenly appear.) AAAAAAACK!!!!! TALL MANTA-SAMA!!! (Look over at Morty and Dub*Yoh.) EEEEEEEEVIIIIIIL!!!! (All pile onto them, seemingly making them disappear.)  
  
***  
  
Buh buh buuuuh!! What will happen? Have Morty and Dub*Yoh been defeated by the RCRMF?? Do those marshmallows REALLY make Manta tall, or do they just make him high on marshmallow juice, making him THINK he's taller? We'll just have to find out, won't we? X) 


	3. Jive Turkey Amidamaru

Wow... I didn't know so many people would actually like this. XD  
  
Updated RCRMF list: Zipchan, Kaori, Marineneko, Joruri Soma, Rally, and Chibisakurazuka!!   
  
And Phire, here. *hands Phire some gas for the flamethrower*  
  
Also, I must thank my stepdad for this chapter. He has British/South African roots, so he (unintentionally) gave me ideas for some "dry British humor". XD You'll see what I mean.  
  
***  
  
The suspense grows as the RCRMF continues to smother the dubbies. Manta stares at the pile of fangirls, still wondering if he was just high on marshmallow juice. Suddenly, a figure with an enormous spike on his head walks up the hill. Manta looks over at the figure with a bit of relief.  
  
Manta: (Yells aloud.) Ren!!  
  
Ren(Supposedly...): Who's this... Ren you speak of, ol' chap?  
  
Manta: Ah... gomen. I thought you were someone else. You can't be Ren... you're British.  
  
Person: That I am. (Walks out of the shadows to reveal himself.)  
  
Manta: (SPASM!!!) Are you sure you're not Ren?? You look very similar to him...  
  
Person: No. I'm Len, you twit! Don't make me explain!  
  
Manta: GYAAAAAAAAAAAAAARAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!  
  
Morty: (Suddenly is alive and well, despite the efforts of the RCRMF.) I WANNA BE A SWORDFISH!! (See's Len's shorts and giggles like a girl.) Oh my... those shorts are HORRIBLE!!  
  
Dub*Yoh: (Also alive and well, sadly.) Yes! Len, you just can't be taken seriously!  
  
Len: Ugh... you bloody buggers... will I have to teach you a lesson with my javelin?  
  
RCRMF: EEEEEEEEK!!!!! PERVERT!!! (Dogpile on Len.)  
  
Yoh: (For some reason, he's decided to come to the cemetary. Lucky Yoh!) What's going on?  
  
Amidamaru: Yoh-dono... why is there two of you, de gozaru? (PS -- Bwahaha.)  
  
Yoh shrugs.  
  
Dub*Aaaah-MEE-DAH-MA-ROO: OH NO!!! YOH!!! (Hovers quickly to the dubbies.)  
  
Amidamaru: 0_0;;  
  
Suddenly, all of the dub characters begin fighting each other. Blood, spit, and Ghost Story books fly as the dubbies duke it out.)  
  
Dub*Aaaaah-MEE-DAH-MA-ROO: IN YOUR FACE, TURKEY!!!! (Elbows Morty in the gut.)  
  
Morty: AAAAGH!! My manta ray organs!!! I'M A MANTA RAY!!!!  
  
Manta: (0_0);;  
  
RCRMF, Manta, Amidamaru, Yoh, Ren (Wait... where'd he come from?): (Sits against the infamous tree, eating Manta's magical marshmallows and the RCRMF's random strawberry Pocky.)  
  
*****  
  
Why isn't there that much this week? Well... I slept too late to see the dub this morning. ;_; I found out some of the worst things from Jao, but that's about it. And the "de gozaru" thing? If you've seen the subtitled anime, and you listen to Amidamaru, he says "de gozaru" after pretty much every sentence. XD It's great.  
  
Comments are ALWAYS appreciated, and information about the dub and its horridness is DEFINITELY appreciated! :D 


	4. A trip to the movies and a chipped nail

XD Sorry for the delay in this one. I FINALLY saw the Ren episode... I don't think I've laughed so hard in my entire life... and I've seen all of them up to the one that aired this morning. And.... beware of OOC Manta.  
  
Updated RCRMF list: Zipchan, Kaori, Marineneko, Joruri Soma, Rally, Chibisakurazuka, T.One, Cuello, Jade Tao, and Des!  
  
*****  
  
The fighting of the dubbies continued for hours and hours. In fact, it continued so long that the originals and the RCRMF decided to go out for shaved ice. When they came back, they were still fighting, so they went to watch the Li Pailong movie. However, once they left the theater, the dubbies had finished their quarrel, to everyone's surprise.   
  
Lenny: Oh, look, it's our old chums... back for more, eh?  
  
Manta: (Jaw drops.) WHAAA???!?  
  
Mortimer: Hey, you know, it's rude to make your jaw drop like that, even if I do it myself. Because having your mouth open leads to flies going...  
  
Ren: SHUT UP ALREADY!!!!!!! (Brings his glaive near Morty's face.) Just... JUST DIE!!! (Prepares to impale Morty on the glaive like a chicken on a rotisserie stick, but someone grabs the butt end of the glaive.)  
  
Dub*Yoh: It's not nice to hurt people. This IS a kids show, after all. Six year olds watch this stuff.  
  
Ren: KISAMA!!!   
  
Dub*Yoh: (Blinks.) Eh? Who's Kisama? Friend of yours?  
  
Ren: (Pokes Dub*Yoh in the face with his hair.)  
  
Dub*AAAAH-MIHD-AAAAH-MRU: Nooo!!! Yoooooooh!!! (Hovers over to Dub*Yoh.) Are you alright?  
  
Dub*Yoh: Ah, I'm fi.... (Is attacked by Manta.)  
  
Manta: Ooooooh, no you aren't.  
  
Suddenly, another shadowy figure appears.  
  
Voice: You shouldn't be trying to hurt my little brother... or his pesky annoyance.   
  
Lenny: (Gasps.) June!  
  
June: Yes, it's me...  
  
Lenny: You still owe me another game of tiddlywinks.  
  
June: I do not!!  
  
Morty: Oh geez... they're gonna fight... Guess I'll have to do play-by-play. (Clears throat.)  
  
Yoh, Manta, Ren, Amidamaru, RCRMF: NO YOU DON'T!!!!!  
  
Morty: (Just slinks away into the darkness.)  
  
Lenny and June continue their bickering over an owed game of Tiddlywinks, and our "heroes" decide to actually play Tiddlywinks.  
  
June: YOU TWIT!!! YOU BROKE MY NAIL!!!!  
  
Lenny: I did no such thing!!  
  
June: Did too! Just look at it!! (Holds up her hand to show 5 fully intact nails, with the polish slightly chipped off of one finger. Oh my. 0_0)  
  
*****  
  
As you can see, the two weeks I forced you guys to wait through wasn't worth squat. I'm sorry... Isn't next week the Horo Horo episode? I hope so. I'll have a better chapter if it is. -_-;; Once again, I'm always open to suggestions. And thanks to JSF for her emails! ^___^ 


End file.
